Fat Pete and Smelly Nelly-- In Collaboration with Mark Rushing

Little boy Pete
Sure liked to eat
His will was out the door
The smell of food
Drove his mood
To feast on such galore
He ordered 3 of everything
3 burgers 3 fries 3 drinks
3 tacos 3 burritos 3 pizzas
3 3 3 is all he would see
Until his weight was the same
So one day Pete made his mind
No longer 3 look at my behind
So Pete got up early each day
Would run 3 blocks 3 times a day
Before long Pete could run 3 miles
3 more than before
Pete got fast and lost that ass
A big smile he wore
But Pete forgot
That his will was not
As strong as his belly in war
So after a few laps he knew
His tummy needed more
Back to table
Pete wasn't able
He just ate 3 pies
Now Pete dies

Comes little Nelly,

As always shabby and smelly,

But to our Pete's eyes,

She was his pretty fairy,

"Oh come on Pete,

Don't pull that stunt again,

If you have no penny,

It's fine, don't be ashamed!"

Pete winks an eye,

"Oh my sweet Nelly,

I can feel the rats in my belly,

But that man at the counter,

Knows I have no penny!"

Nelly checked her pockets,

And stood with wide open eyes,

She too didn't have no penny,

Perhaps she didn't realize,

"Okay my sweet elephant belly,

Just keep pulling that off,

Let me shout and scream,

Oh my God, there's rat poison in the cream!"

Befuddled stood the poor restaurant keeper,

He could imagine the police cars' beepers,

"Oh I can't go to the prison,

Or may be I would come up with a reason,

Oh but this is so uncanny,

Let me just give them some penny"

Thought he,

Nelly took the money,

Pete rose saying he's better suddenly,

And off they went hand in hand,

Our fat Pete and Smelly Nelly......